book preview
The Other Woman
in stores June 1, 2007- Format:
- Hardcover (288 pages)
- list Price:
- $24.99
- Publisher:
- Warner Books/Grand Central Publishing
- ISBN-13:
- 0446580228
- Genres:
- Memoir, Non-Fiction
- Themes:
- deception , essays , infidelity , inspiration , psychology
Book Excerpt
Introduction
She's the harpy, the Jezebel, the Lorelei and the bitch. She seduces our husbands, breaks up our marriages, and occasionally manages to win over our children. Who is this creature who arrives like a wrecking ball to devastate our lives and our families? She's the other woman. Girls grow up primping and dieting to defend against her; boys grow up developing their pecs and abs to be enticed by her. And yet who among us has intentionally brought up our precious daughters to become her?
The other woman has the power to throw a wrench into our relationships and, quite often, bring the entire mechanism to a grinding halt. She makes us feel frumpy, old, stupid and frigid. If we're able to pick ourselves up and muster our self-respect, her existence might also drive us toward feeling empowered and in control. There are wives who want to kill her (some do!) and wives who not only forgive her, but sometimes pity and befriend her.
Who is the other woman? She is our friend, our sister, our doctor, grocery clerk or neighbor. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, she is us. And while the other woman may believe that she got her man, she understands that what she has gained may be the most she'll ever get. So she takes what she can, reminded in many little ways of the existence of her lover's wife, home, and children. Because whether the other woman is old or young, straight or gay, religious or non-observant, she must love or lust in the shadow of someone else's mate.
In this anthology, you will meet exceptional women, many of whom reveal for the first time their own experiences as husband or lover beds down with someone else, or when they, themselves, take another woman's mate into their bed; or, when the sexual behavior of someone they love has profoundly influenced their life. Through their vivid writing you will share their rage and disappointment, and sometimes their amusement and relief.
The notion of the other woman is nothing new. In this anthology, Binnie Kirshenbaum writes about the concept of love and marriage throughout history, reminding us that the wife was selected for childbearing, while the mistress was chosen for her passion and intellectual companionship.
We often think of the wife or girlfriend of the philanderer as the victim, wronged by his lustful eye (and other anatomical parts). What we need to remember, however, is that the don't-get-mad-get-even philosophy could have been coined by several authors whose work appears in this book. Connie May Fowler delivers the raucous denunciation every injured woman wants to hear, while any woman struggling to pull her life back together will learn about survival from Mary Jo Eustace, who lost her actor husband to starlet Tori Spelling. And for "the plot thickens" fans, there's Pam Houston's bitingly funny recollection of a lover who not only had another woman...he had another other woman as well.
As much as we try to protect our children, they are too often drawn into the vortex created by the other woman. Katharine Weber was not only befriended by two of her father's long-time lovers, but considered one of them a member of her family.
A recurring emotion in nearly every essay is deception. In the case of Caroline Leavitt, her best friend (who was also her sister-in-law) became tangled in a dangerous affair and Caroline was there to offer loving support...until she discovered that her own husband was cheating and his sister had known about it all along.
And what if the other woman is neither friend nor villainess, but she is...us? It can happen when we're young and impressionable, middle-aged and seduced, elderly and unwilling to let that opportunity for passion slip away. We might be innocent, deceitful, or simply fall hard for some juicy guy and then forget (for that moment or perhaps a very long time) the vow of sisterhood about never coveting another woman's man. And yet, when it happens, when our hearts are driven by love or lust, good intentions and caution are too often jettisoned, right along with common sense. Lynn Freed reveals how, as a married woman, she fell in love with a married man. Being asked to wash his dirty underwear was bad enough; discovering that he had a second lover brought her to her senses. Dani Shapiro was nineteen when her friend's father swept her off her feet and carried her through years of excitement, deception, anger, and the near death of her spirit. Pulitzer Prize novelist Jane Smiley wooed a man who was still in love with a former girlfriend twenty years his junior who had moved on to other loves, yet still gave him phone sex (and other sex) from time to time. Susan Cheever was methodical in her quest: I looked my best; I turned on all my wit and facility with words. It was my pleasure to make him laugh out loud. I set my charm to stun. And stun she did...but to what end?
These essays are unforgettable because of their candor--how often are we given an intimate glimpse into the lives of such talented writers? --and because they remind us how quickly our safe and predictable lives can be rattled. Just the thought of the other woman keeps us on our toes. And really, how smug can we be about love, marriage, or relationships when we know that she may arrive at any moment, or be lurking in the wings?
Whether we fear the other woman, loathe her, or live in her skin, I think you'll agree that these highly personal, anguished, and sometimes hilarious essays are a powerful reminder that her story is never dull.
Excerpted from The Other Woman edited by Victoria Zackheim. Copyright © 2007 by the authors. Excerpted by permission of Grand Central Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
